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In August of 2005 Erik and Kira moved from the Phoenix valley, which has nearly four million residents, to Bloomington, Indiana, a city with a population of about eighty thousand. Immediately upon arrival, they began looking for food. They were somewhat heartened to see that most of their favorite restaurant and fast food chains were present, but the size of the city was still small enough that Erik commented, “This place is so small that we could actually eat at every single restaurant.”

Kira was immediately doubtful because Erik says stupid things like this all the time. “That would take years.” Erik argued that they didn’t have much else to do for the next few years and that they had to eat anyway. Kira took a look at the phone book and decided that it was indeed possible and that it actually was a good idea. Then they did nothing about it for six months because they are nothing if not procrastinators. Finally, on March 31, 2006, they grabbed a marker and pulled out the phone book. They sat down, opened to the restaurant section, and then argued about the rules for fifteen minutes. Eventually they decided on the following rules:

  • Rule 1: Once a week when they feel like it, Erik and Kira will eat at a restaurant.
  • Rule 2: The restaurants will be picked from the phone book a list of restaurants compiled using phone books and other sources.
  • Rule 3: Erik and Kira will eat at every restaurant listed. No exceptions.
    • Exception 3a: Only restaurants within Bloomington city limits count.
      • Meta-exception 3ai: Unless Kira and Erik feel like eating at a non-Bloomington restaurant anyway.
    • Exception 3b: Only one location per restaurant chain counts. (That means they don’t have to eat at every single Taco Bell in town.)
    • Exception 3c: If a restaurant has gone out of business by the time Kira and Erik get around to it, it doesn’t count. (So what if it took them 8 years to get around to it?)
    • Exception 3d: If Kira and Erik weren’t aware of the restaurant at the time of creating the list (perhaps because it didn’t exist yet), it doesn’t count. (Although they’ll try to slip it in eventually.)
  • Rule 4: Erik and Kira will eat at the restaurants in alphabetical order.
  • Rule 5: Since anything that’s worth doing these days is worth doing online, Erik and Kira will post reviews, pictures, and comments to this blog.
  • Rule 6: Kira and Erik are not permitted to amend any of these rules at any time for any reason.

First Amendment: Since Kira and Erik wanted to eat at a new restaurant first, they switched the order of the first two existing restaurants.

Second Amendment: Since so much time has passed, and phone books aren’t the bastions of truth they once were, the rules have been altered accordingly.

With the formalities out of the way, it is now time to watch Erik and Kira Eat Bloomington.

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